Well I ran into a new challenge that never even crossed my mind until today. Finding tank tops and swim suits that hide my scar :( I was super excited to get some new clothes because of all of my old ones being too big. The challenge was always "makes me look too fat, my arms look disgusting, I look pregnant" negative things like that. I tried on this really cute halter dress that I found, and I felt good and was even twirling in front of the mirror. Then I suddenly saw the scar, very visible and very gross looking. It felt like a major slap in the face. I just wanted to cry and put my plain t shirt back on right away. If I wore that dress in public, I'd get stares and questions. It was a moment of weakness, and I ended up not getting the dress anyways. But then I had a revelation. Scars don't mean weak, in fact they're battle scars! I'm fighting a tough battle, and all the scar means is physical proof of fighting it. I got a scar on my face when I was 9 from climbing on the roof and falling off onto a ladder. A jagged piece of it sliced open my cheek. To this day I still have it, and I usually don't get questions about it anymore, but I love dressing up like a pirate because of it! Point is, I would be happy if they weren't there, but I can't make them disappear, so now I can make up cool stories about getting into fights with pirates. I'm good at making up stories! When I was 17, I had to wear a monitor at school, and I had some of the other students believing that it was a high tech cell phone that I needed to communicate with the CIA about area 51 because of some ufo evidence I came across while vacationing and getting stranded in the middle of nowhere, New Mexico. I told them that we were trying to contact the "others" and suddenly I had students I didn't even know coming up to me asking about it and asking if I knew what was in area 51 and how come it's so top secret. I eventually told the truth though. It's so much fun though! I don't mind it so much anymore, in fact at dinner, one of our internationals asked if she could see it. I think it's kinda cool when people ask about it.
So moving on, after beating myself up and blaming myself for something beyond my control (I'm actually learning how to have more confidence and appreciation of myself!), I found a really princessy canopy and some sparkly pink stars. So I came back and turned my room into a princess room! I'm still not finished with it, but I thought I'd share what I have so far. Suggestions are definitely welcome! (No there ISN'T too much pink).
My bed, with the canopy I found at the thrift store! Also, my magic wands, books, get well balloon, unicorn music box, and you can't really see it, but my tiara is on the lamp.
My front door, I made all the girls in the dorm a princess picture. My friend Laura wrote my name on my board, and the stars are wrapped around the curtain. Looks better in person.
Pay no attention to the clothes. All of these stuffed animals were gifts! I also love my pink rhinestone cowgirl boots and hat!
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